Iceveyns

Hey!

This is probs going to be my last journal all pretty CCS'ed entry, not my last of lasts! I ended my core membership. It's been standing here for 2 years. Welp. But I'm trying to get around to post (I'm not lying again I'm really trying okay)! Yea I'm just doing things in reverse, don't mind that.

I got faves and watches on an inactive account. I'm so surprised. Thanks people, it's really appreciated!

So. I'm not dead, I'm just too alive. Life you know, I haven't had much time until recently. I'm bad at being adult. Responsibilities take all my time and energy. I get home and either I work or brain-shutdown and lie on the couch like a larva.

I'm going back to school because, long story short, being a designer is being poor. And I want my hobby back, not as a full time career. Doing some contracts from home is fine tho.

Uhhh that's about it. If there's something else I'll do a status (when I find the damn thing).

Yeah I am going to write a status journal because I can't find the status section anymore. I'm so derp.

Well then. This is my last semester at college and I have to stop everything for the next 3 months... I'm free at the end of May. Depends of the strikes but it seems there won't be any this time. Phew, dammit can I finish in due time in peace? Not in pieces I hope.

So yeh nothing new to come... I have no more reserves of stuff I can post so please wait some more! I plan to come back fully when I am done.

Also I am a living desert. I've been on Accutane for some months. This shit is strong but it works. Well yeah the dermatologist told me we had to pass the maximum dose a bit because my acne still wants to stick around. GO AWAY NO ONE LIKES YOU. Gosh if you knew, these kind of things always happen to me. I just want a nice skin after a decade of pizzaface, pizzatorso and pizzaback.

Pizza would be nice for dinner

This status mutated in a journal. I ramble way to much for someone having nothing happening in his life besides college.

Alright I'm out for indefenite time yet again. (<- that's about the only plz I remember)

A sleep murderer, that is what. (Also a motivation, inspiration and free time murderer)

It's my last year in there and the intensity intensified. (Fina-fucking-lly though, I'm so done with school, getting too old for this shit)

You would not believe me how tired I am these days. I'm not dead, just very zombie (it won't claim victory so easily!). I only did not have time to log in for a while. Well, it's not all college's fault, but it sure is not helping my case. My blood pressure is too low and is causing me to have some kind of chronic tiredness. FABULOUS TIMING! (story of my life) -_- I can only see the doctor in two weeks... ugh

And the stupid humid heat we get here is insane. During the weekend, to ruin it and make me unproductive. Thanks summer, I hate you too.

I am almost done with a drawing, though I have to finish editing some photoshoots before. The peeps are waiting on me and I don't like to make them wait forever.

I have a bunch of photos of my cosplays edited in advance, expect some posting soon, during weekends...

Uh, yeah.

Hey everyone.

My journals are getting scarce... who reads journals anyways?! Me rarely so I'm guessing it's similar for you. xD But that's beside the point. I've had this insane month of May to take care of. With all the planning of moving to my new place, end of semester and stress I took my own hiatus for some weeks and it did good lol.

With my current budget and personnal reasons I will not do any cosplays this summer. This means, more time for drawing! If... I can somehow get back my motivation from before. I love to draw but... it's like something is stopping me. I do have ideas... even if some got forgotten over time. :/ You know I had planned to practice a lot of sketching and colouring before coming back into it but... time was missing. There are just so many unfinished drawings lost in my computer, they pile up since years...  If anyone has tricks and suggestions to help me I'd be so thankful. >_< I WANT to start drawing as much as in the past again, it's important to me. I don't want to force myself all the time, I want the inspiration to come by itself... though I am scared it will never be the same...
Anyways, take care guys and thanks for reading my ramblings.

You know guys, I think I should open up a bit more to you. The past few years were rough. And I'm usually the type of person who will rather put on a smile and keep silent than worry anyone.

Leaving college with depression, two of my animals dying, shitty job and relationships drama in three long years... I had insane moods swings; I could barely control myself and didn't listen to myself... I said really bad things unwillingly. I fixed my medication when I noticed... too late. I’m exhausted... And now that my life is finally getting silent, I can’t help being wary. What’s next? It’s scary.